Getting through the two-week wait

Why this wait feels so hard

The "two-week wait" is the time between ovulation, an IUI or an embryo transfer, and the day you can take a pregnancy test. There is nothing to do except wait, and that can feel harder than any appointment.

Many people swing between hope and dread, sometimes within the same hour. You might notice every twinge, struggle to sleep, or find it hard to focus at work. If treatment has cost you time, money and energy, the stakes can feel very high. All of this is a normal response to uncertainty. It doesn't mean you are coping badly.

What is happening in your body

If an egg has been fertilised, the early embryo needs to reach the uterus and attach to its lining (implantation). After implantation, the body starts making a hormone called hCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin). This is the hormone pregnancy tests detect.

hCG takes time to rise to a level a test can pick up. That is why clinics give you a specific date for a test, usually a blood test or a urine test, and why that date matters.

Why testing early can mislead

It is very tempting to test early. Many people do. But an early result can be wrong in either direction:

• A false negative. If you test before hCG has risen enough, the test can be negative even if you are pregnant.
• A false positive. If you had a "trigger" injection to mature the eggs, it often contains hCG. It can stay in your body for some days and show up on a home test, even if you are not pregnant.

A confusing early result can bring days of extra worry. Waiting for the date your clinic gives you is usually kinder to yourself, even though it is hard.

Caution. Keep taking any medicines your clinic has prescribed, such as progesterone support, until they tell you to stop. Don't stop them because of a home test result.

Symptoms aren't reliable signs either way

Sore breasts, bloating, tiredness, cramps, mood changes and light spotting can all happen whether or not you are pregnant. Progesterone medicines, which many people take after IUI or embryo transfer, cause many of the same symptoms as early pregnancy.

So having symptoms does not mean you are pregnant, and having none does not mean you are not. Many people who go on to have a positive test felt nothing unusual at all. Try not to read too much into how you feel day to day.

Ways to cope with the wait

There is no right way to get through it. Some ideas people find useful:

• Plan your days. Fill some time with things you enjoy or that absorb you: a film, a walk, cooking, time with a friend.
• Decide on screens. Set a limit on symptom-searching and forums. They often add worry rather than answers.
• Choose who knows. Fewer people knowing the test date can mean fewer questions while you wait.
• Plan the test day. Decide where you will be, who will be with you, and how you will hear the result. Have a plan for a positive and a negative result.
• Keep normal routines. Unless your clinic has told you otherwise, gentle everyday activity is usually fine. Ask your clinic if you're unsure about work, exercise or travel.
• Be kind to yourself. Whatever the result, it is not caused by something you ate, a stressful day or climbing the stairs.

Good to know. It's okay if you can't stop thinking about it. The aim isn't to feel calm all the time, just to get through the days a little more gently.

If the result is negative

A negative result can bring grief, even if you tried to prepare for it. Give yourself time. Your clinic will usually arrange a follow-up to talk through what happened and the options from here. You don't have to decide anything straight away.

When to see a doctor

Call your clinic or doctor if you have bleeding or pain that worries you, or questions about your medicines.

Some symptoms need urgent care. Call 112 or go to the nearest hospital if you have:

• heavy bleeding, such as soaking a pad within an hour
• severe pain in the tummy or pelvis, especially on one side, or pain in the shoulder tip
• fainting or feeling very dizzy
• signs of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) after IVF: severe bloating or tummy pain, vomiting, breathlessness, passing much less urine than usual, or rapid weight gain

If the wait is affecting your sleep, mood or daily life, talk to your doctor or a counsellor. For free, confidential mental-health support at any hour, call Tele-MANAS on 14416 or 1-800-891-4416 (24x7). If you have thoughts of harming yourself, call 112 or go to the nearest hospital straight away.